The reason to why I'm not participating much

took the image from google

Ok~ So some of you who has been with me for 2 months now..
noticed that until now I haven't been participating much in classroom..
One reason? I guess you can say that..
coz in the last semester.. I wasn't really much of a speaker..
and I wasn't close to anyone either..
I was placed on 3 different sections...
So I didn't get to know everyone and met only few people whom I get to know more of before~ ^_^
which made me happy.. and somehow comfortable to have them as my friends..
Now.. in this semester.. Glad to be taking a part or more like having or BEING in the part of English class~
I missed those times when I used to have NEW HARD VOCABULARIES in the lessons..!!
and I had to memorize those~ and POEMS! GOSH! I miss those times~

"I missed those times...." That what really made me WANT to be in English class..
Not because it's english and it's easy for me.. but I WANT to know how they teach English in this way..
So that I'll be ready for the future.... of this college.. hehe.. ;DD

So.. It started.. My classes.. There I met my new teachers..
Happy or not.. I should get used to them.. and then..
OWKAY! MY ENGLISH CLASS for the first time..
We were only 3 students who went for the first class! *that is after getting our sched*
We got to know each other.. But because of my voice? or my attitude? or the way I spoke?
I dunno which part bothered her.. but in an instant.. I felt something..
Something like.. disregarded.. Like.. "Ok.. You know.. Don't speak!"
This was what I felt! I didn't know what to say or do..
I just didn't mind it until one day.. when she told us..
"When you want to speak.. just raise your hands.. Instead of chorusing with each other"
It's something like that.. When it's time to participate.. I wanted to try...
There I started to like the 'RAISING your hands first b4 talking!"..
It made sense.. coz I for one, don't like people saying the answer right away.. *sometimes*
There should a 'tense' feeling.. XD But because we have EASY, SUPER EASY english..
People juz started blabbing out the answers.. XD
I would do it too.. If only she COULD HEAR my voice~ =)))

Yeah that's one thing I didn't like.. EVEN though I know she won't bite..
I still can't seem to make my voice any louder.. aside from my friends..
It's like.. It's always been there.. whenever I speak with my teachers..
It depends with the feeling, relationship.. I may not be like that to the others..
But mostly, I am quiet reserved? hmm.. *I didn't know this word until I encountered Zubaidah~ Thank Youh*
hehehe~ anyways.. It's just the feeling.. So she was infront of me..
I was raising my hands.. I wanted to participate..
Soo badly.. kind of.. but after 2 or 3 weeks?
NOTHING! I would juz participate IF SHE CALLS ME!
Juz then, those were the ONLY times where I would participate because
it'd be very hard to have this opportunity next time.. *I THINK*
Coz for sure she'd give the others more chance.. than for me.. I dunno...
I for one.. don't like talking much (in class) when it comes to serious matters LIKE STUDYING! ;D
*ALWAYS DEPENDS if you see me talking, that's me being lazy-ING around* 

So from then on... I've been still doing a lil 'raise your hand'! whenever she asks the whole class.. ;D
but I don't raise my hand when she WANTS someone to participate.. ;|
There's THIS feeling that is lingering around my body and can't be removed by her..
because I FELT she did this to me... SERIOUSLY!
No offence.. But I guess the toastmaster will have to help me on this one.. >w<
That is all folks~ Sorry for keeping you up.. or not..
reading this~ ;>> I appreciate it much!!! ^w^